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Excerpt from Happy New Year, Darling

If I could re-trace a thousand steps leading to the disaster that took place on New Year’s Eve, the first step was when Mickey and I stayed at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel.  My folly began with a get-rich-quick scheme, inspired by a table tent advertising the hotel’s extravagant New Year’s Eve Party taking place in a few months.

Brooding as I waited for Mickey’s return, I studied the ad carefully.  Apparently, for a mere $40,000, a guest could bring in the New Year with this snazzy package: a seven course dinner, dancing the night away, a luxurious suite, Champagne Brunch on New Year’s Day, and unlimited food and beverages.  The fee included round trip airfare to any of their luxury hotel resorts, anywhere in the world.  Aside from the airfare, hmm…that’s a pretty steep cover charge for a weekend.  Oh, and all you can eat?  There isn’t a woman over size 6 in the hotel; it’s not like an open bar at a frat party.  These people are moderate in their habits (with the exception of overpaying).

Putting the ad in my purse, I started wondering: Who could pay forty grand for a 24-hour party for two?  And, what could the Ritz possibly include to justify that kind of money?  They should throw in sex for that.  Or, something even more dangerous and exciting - love!  How would it feel to have unlimited cash and no one to share the most anticipated, romantic night of the year?  Sure, the hotel provides the setting, but how would a lonely, rich person find love?  Sex is easier; you can rent a body.  But, how about renting a romantic fantasy?  What is it worth to feel adored, cherished and loved?  To escape the feeling that another year has gone down the drain.  The last day on the calendar and hope has exhausted all possibilities   that you were loveable.  Every interaction is motivated by finance or polite obligation set in motion years ago.

Crossing the room to the mini-bar, I liberated a Snickers and a bottle of Perrier.  Then, plopping into an overstuffed chair in front of the window, my thoughts drifted past the ocean’s horizon.  I book entertainment for a living, and I’m on familiar territory when it comes to fantasy and deception.  I book entertainment, hmm.  Perhaps I could book a fantasy; all I really need is one customer.  Like a detective, I must zero in on the profile of a lonely, wealthy, love-starved man in need of sincere attention.

A man who is estranged from his family; maybe his bitchy wife gets the kids on that holiday.  A successful businessman, who also wants to be a successful family man.  He’s used to having things his way; to spend that night alone would scream defeat in an otherwise orderly world.  Or, at the very least, he wants the hope or suggestion of love from a beautiful and attentive woman.  He secretly fantasizes of spending just one weekend with “the one that got away.”

Fantasy is the key. It may be his college sweetheart, or his business partner’s wife, but he has an ideal woman in mind.  This classy and beautiful angel, who stares at him adoringly while he drones on about nothing, is even better in a swank setting.  This completes the picture he has of himself.  Joyously, he toasts in the New Year.  With the classic beauty at his side, he celebrates their success as loving eyes lock across the flutes of champagne.  Never mind that the workaholic will dive back into business on the following workday, forgetting the “woman at his side.”  All the better.

Perhaps a well behaved, model child joins the happy couple in the dining room, then disappears with the nanny, following dinner.  This leaves an evening of dining and dancing culminating in a romantic, sensual interlude.  This man deserves the best; he needs the complete illusion of happiness, even if the clock is ticking.  It’s expensive, but what does he care?  My phantom client makes money while he sleeps.  He’s probably lost forty grand in a casino in one night, and had only bad memories the next day, without real recrimination.

This fee will buy him some lasting memories—if it’s done right.  This opportunity is unique.  Heck, this type of man likes adventure!  I book entertainment, I book events and I can book a fantasy.  After all, this is just a small, small party.  Should I find an actress slutty enough to have sex with a stranger? It will be hard enough to match the description of his Dream Girl.  Or, do I find a hooker and send her to charm school?  I’ll have to figure that out.